Assez vulgaires mais lisez-le , ma gang de bilingues.
Et là,une de ses nouvelles est
7 Simple Rules to Sleeping with a Different Woman Every Night
1. Don’t ever, ever let the girl know your real name and phone number. If you give her your real name and number, then she will be calling looking for you, and you definitely don’t want that. Make up a name, and number, but don’t forget what you came up with, because if you can’t remember and she catches you, you will not be getting laid that night. And make it a cool name too... not something normal like Nate or Jack. In my ventures I have found that many names work, but for me these three names equal guarenteed ass:
Trey- Short and Smoooth
Sabastian- A little fruity, but very affective
Parker- A very odd name, but for some reason it has never failed
This is a very important rule and must not be taken lightly. This is for your own good. Unless you want a bunch of girls you never want to talk to again calling you all the time. Not fun. I did this when I first started out in college, I gave out my ream name and number. Then I had to change my number and switch schools. I couldn’t take it, too many phone calls, angry ones, sad ones, confused ones, pregnant ones... every kind you can think of. Just be careful and use a fake name and number.
Ne jamais laissez son vrai nom et numéro de téléphone.
2. Wingmen are good, but not necessary. A wingman would be good, they’re a lot of help, but you don’t always need one. You can get a girl on your own, or can you? Anyway, you have to be suave and smooth. Say things like "So, I want to know more about you... where did you grow up?" Pretending you actually care about this bitch is incredibly important. Than, try to relate your life to whatever the hell she is talking about "Ohh, you ride horses... they are such beuatiful animals... my family has owned horses for years." No lie is to great... becuase remember, you are going to be in and out of this girl like a fast food restuarant and will never have to back up any of the claims you are making. My moto is the more you lie, the more she will want to sleep with you. Know what you’re talking about however. Don’t talk about topics that you have no idea about. This will expose your disguise. Be careful what you talk about, make sure you did your homework before hand. If you do need the assistance of a wingman, make sure he has read and knows by heart The Tank’s “How to be a good fucking Wingman.”
Parler en mentant un peu, faire semblant de s'intéresser à la fille et ne pas parler de sujets qu'on ne connet pas.
3. Know shoes and perfume. If you know the major shoe brands and perfumes, AND you can point them out, then you’re all set. This is a tip that I feel many of you will underestimate, but let me make it clear for you becuase your an idiot... Knowing shoe and perfume brands will get you ass. Study, make sure you know this stuff. If you can tell a girl what kind of shoes she is wearing or what kind of perfume she has on, then you’ll be so much more welcome to her. And if you know both, then you’re almost guaranteed to get laid that night. Say things like "Ohhh your wearing the new Tommy fragrance... mmmm, very nice." Just don’t fuck it up and tell her she is wearing the JC Penny perfume when she just put on some fancey Gucci shit. On the other hand, if you’re not exactly sure what kind of shoes or perfume she is wearing, do not try and tell her, chances are you will be wrong, and she will hate you for it. No sex for you.
Apprenez les marques de parfums et de souliers pour mieux cruiser en leur disant le parfum qu'elle porte ou la marque de leur chaussures.
4. Alcohol is key. Not necessarily a lot. You don’t want rape charges on you and you also do not want her throwing up on your dick... beleive me, that is a mistake you only make once in your life (Note: I have made this mistake about 4...5 times). But enough alcohol so that she opens up, not her legs quite yet, but she puts her guards down and is more open to talk to you and get to know you a little better. The best is when you’re talking to a girl, and she finishes a drink, buy her the drink she was just having. Don’t ask her what it was, just know. But if you don’t know, ask her in a conversation, not flat out. Just so it doesn’t sound gay, which you are because you don’t know shit.
Saouler les filles mais pas trop , parce qu'une fille qui vomit dans un lit c'est pas très joyeux!
5. STD’s are a big no-no. And by this, I mean you. I am not giving you tips on how to get laid so that you can infect the entire female population. If you have STDs then stop reading this... you already know how to get laid. If you do read this and use my methods, I will find you and kill you. Or maybe I'll just let the STD’s kill you, or at least let you be in overwhelming pain for the rest of your unimportant, dull, itchy, boring, disease filled life.
Si t'as des mts oublier ces règles et restez sage.
6. Your clothing can’t be shitty. You have to look respectable and not like a bum. Now if you’re poor like me, getting some nice clothes might be a little out of your price range. The Salvation Army is a great way to get a nice set of clothes. Now if you were really considering getting an outfit from the Salvation Army so you can impress the ladies and get laid every night by a different girl, then you seriously need some help, and you definitely will not be getting any girls. Actually, go ahead, go out and try and pick up the girls. That will make it so much easier for the rest of us. They will think you are so pathetic. Which will in turn make us look so much better, and make it easier for us to get some. So my instruction for Number 6 is to get all your clothes at the Salvations Army, chicks dig that kind of stuff. Oh, and make sure you tell them where you got your outfit too. Guaranteed sex. Haha.
Toujours porter du linge respectable pour cruiser, si vous êtes trop pauvre allez à l'Armée du Salut.
7. Don’t go to your place. When the night is coming to a close, and you’re going to start heading home with your “date,” make sure you go to her place. You definitely do not want her knowing where you live. This is just like Number 1. Same reasoning applies here. If you do not follow this rule, then there will be girls knocking on your door when you don’t want them to. For example. It’s Friday night, and you have a different girl there, and they’re banging on the door pissed! What are you going to do? You’re screwed, well not literally, but I think you know what I mean. So the point of Number 7 is, go to her place! Maybe she has roommates and they like having fun too. Now even though this is a highly improbable scenario, it still exists. But it is for another time. For now, concentrate on going to her place. Good luck and happy fucking…
*On a side note, what I now do regularly, that you might be interested in, is this. The next morning, when you wake, before your partner (this is a must), grab a couple of bills out of her pocketbook. Not all of it, that’ll give you away. Like 40, 50 bucks. She will most likely think she spent it on drinks the night before. This is where Number 4 plays a part. Have her buy some drinks too, this way she remembers buying some drinks, but just doesn’t remember how many. It’s not like you’re stealing from her anyway. It’s daddy’s money, he’s the one you’re screwing. Well, you’re screwing his daughter, but you’re taking his money. So it’s a double score, if you play your cards right. Good luck…
N'allez jamais chez-vous pour coucher .
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